CREATING FIRST IMPRESSION

How to make your first impression? This is a million-dollar question to everyone who is eager to make a mark on their partner’s mind. First impression is the best impression. Yet a few say that impressions do not matter. Why people give importance to creating or making impressions? Is it because that whatever they show in the initial moment, the other person remembers those details and never ask anything about these details later? Or, they think that a good start is always a best start?

Sometimes impressions create depressions. People, who create a good impression for the first time may not try to keep it up in the long term. But the effect of their first impression raises the expectations bar creating a dangerous situation for the impression maker. People around the impression-creator want him to display the same kind of effect what he has shown in the first time; making the situation more complicated.

Why we need to give importance to impressions? How reliable they are? What is the right time to make an impression? Is it possible for people to create a new impression; completely opposite to the one that they have already created again on the same set of people? Does the public allow or accept it? If change of impression is allowed, why we, humans, have to give importance to ‘first impression’?       

Questions apart, when it comes to marriage, this blog firmly believes that both bride and groom go by ‘first impression’ in their first meet. This impression stays throughout their life, if everything goes well in their first meet. Life is full of making impressions. As a couple, through their chemistry, both the bride and groom try to start making their first impression on the society by gelling with each other from the marriage day onwards. They put a lot of effort to try to keep this impression in the minds of their surrounding society throughout their life.

Finally, this blog believes that impressions do matter when it comes to marriage.

Take care!

THE FIRST LOOK

Excellent! Marvelous! FANTABULOUS! These are all the adjectives you use that moment we see a bride/groom who really match your preferences. The looks do matter; the physique, the way they dress, how they have groomed themselves, standing postures, body movements, etc. You are yet to talk to our partner but by this time, in your inner soul, you already accepted her/him as your soulmate. How many times this happen in one’s life? Very rarely. Whenever one get this kind of chance, does s/he let it go? Just like that? The sincere answer is NO.

Love needs no language. And some say it is blind. That means, is it both deaf and dumb? And still rocks our souls like an earthquake and tunes our minds just like a sculptor turns a stone into a marvelous statue within a matter of minutes. God knows! However, it works. Once can feel it in our daily activities when we see our dream partner.

Just imagine that your new partner also likes you in the same manner how you love her/him; won’t it become a dream combination? But again, caution! We are living on planet EARTH where Lord Maya plays his role in every aspect. FARAWAY LOOKS DO DECEIVE! One learns this truth only after getting hurt from their experience brickbats. Anyways, just like first love in a person’s life, first look also plays a vital role and it stucks in the minds of lovers for a long time.

Happy cupid strike!

THE GROOMING FACTOR

Grooming factor is very important in every bride’s and groom’s life. If you don’t know how to do that better take advice from beauty industry professionals. These days, people like to watch, talk, and interact only with neat and tidy people. If you are a handsome or beautiful by nature, it is like an icing on the cake. Please remember, people who walk the ramp are not the only ones who get checked out every time from top-to-toe; the moment they step out of their dressing room.  Those days have gone where people used to think that going to beauty parlours and saloons is a big no-no and whoever does that are playing against social norms. These days, if you don’t groom yourself properly, you miss a lot of opportunities.

Life is all about identifying and cashing opportunities. Grooming yourself properly and making yourself attractive to others is the first phase of any interaction to make it successful.  We can compare grooming with having a examination hall-ticket. If hall-ticket is not there, then the opportunity to take the examination is gone forever, right?

Grooming is naturally wired in the minds of ladies.  Even if they stay in forest also, somehow they do their best to decorate themselves attractively with the available stuff like flowers, shells, etc. From Indian perspective, grooming plays a vital role when it comes to bride selection. Nowadays, one can find parlours for gentlemen also. Facials are a regular activity during the weekends in the lives of youngsters. By the time, they reach their marriage age; they are well-versed with all the grooming techniques and know what is best for them in every aspect.

Gone are the Stone Age days where people used to select grooms based on their muscle and hardworking capabilities. In this modern age, only grooms who are chick and smart rule the roost.

Best of luck!  

THE HAPPINESS FACTOR

Enjoy life! This is what everybody thinks but unable to do. Throughout life, humans chase happiness; very few people get it.  This blog feels that the problem lies with humans; they don’t know what makes them happy. Confused, they chase so many things at the same time to grab happiness; finally, ending up with nothing.

In life, for so many people marriage is one such event that they think gives happiness. Indirectly, the expectation is that the entry of their life partner in to their life brings happiness. This is the reason why people check so many times before zeroing on their life partner. Every bride and groom has so many dreams and expectations about their married life. They want to experience all those imagined things in their real life. 

When it comes to couple, happiness lies in their sparkling chemistry. If they find rhythm in life, they definitely experience more happiness between them. However, how to find the rhythm? The answer lies in checking and knowing each other’s hobbies, pleasure movements, etc. Understanding one’s own life is something but understanding your life partner’s life and excitement details are something else.  You gain from it. You enjoy it. And you want it. 

From playing games to collecting souvenirs, everything counts. Why don’t you plan something to do along with your partner to make him/her better understand your intentions? 

Best of luck!

THE FOOD FACTOR

What we eat and how we eat tells lot of things about us. Nowadays, there are varieties of dishes; from continental to corner-street food. Again there are vegetarian and non-vegetarian food categories. Every dish has its own taste and specialty. Around the world, we have so many foodies, who relish the taste of food and follow ‘live to eat’ concept. And there are so many chefs, who are hell-bent on making a tasty dish with ingredients from unknown origins. However, there are so many instances around this world, where a marriage has been broken on the following points: no tasty food, expected menu not served, etc.

Normally, before agreeing for marriage, both the bride and groom check their food preferences. If one is vegetarian and another is a non-vegetarian, the compatibility factor crashes like anything. As you all know that there are a few people around this world who do not prefer even to eat egg. These people are pure vegetarians and they get hurt a lot when someone tries to compromise their food preferences. Similarly, on this planet, we have non-vegetarians, who don’t gulp if any non-vegetarian item has not been added to it. 

In a love marriage, since the couple knows each other and their preferences, there is chance that they adjust or somehow manage their preferences.  And in arranged marriages, there is no chance for this kind of adjustment since both the parties belong to the same community. When it comes to love-cum-arranged marriage, where couple meets online, fall in love, and then the parents step in but realize the other party is from a different background, this food factor plays a very important role. In this kind of scenario, there is a chance that both the bride and groom decide to step out of their marriage deal since the other party either does not agree to give discount when it come to changing their food preferences. In this case, since they don’t have time to see each other physically, most probably they discuss with each other lot many things other than food and get stumped because of this factor only when they have decided to seal their love with marriage.

This blog suggests that you should give about minor but important details like food a thought while you were trying to know each other; before marriage itself.  

Best of luck!

THE BEAUTY FACTOR

Beauty – this is what everyone looks for in this world, in everything. Humans are no exception! Every bride and groom looks for a beautiful or handsome partner. Remember! Looks matter! Shape counts! People look at you first before they decide whether to talk or not with you. Based on the impression you make with them, they decide whether to pursue any matter with you or not. Always keep in mind; face is an indication of your inner happiness. This world believes that people, who are happy, know how to make and keep others happy. So, try to be happy and healthy in life. 
  
In marriage, beauty factor matters a lot. Unless there is a heavy pressure in some form or other, normally, people always dream, chase, and go for a beautiful life partner. All this game starts when your partner sees you or your photo somewhere in a fascinating place and your figure profile matches with their dream partner’s profile. Then the search for you starts. Once s/he finds you, they chase you to know more about you. After they realize that they have enough information, they decide to zero in on you. This process happens in every contact of a bride and groom. 

Now, the point is how you manage your looks to attract your dream partner? It is not just dreaming for a beautiful/handsome partner. To get such kind of partner, you need to make yourself match with him/her in looks, right? In this world, when it comes to match making, a 6-foot guy tries to go for a bride, who is at least 5.8 foot and above but below 6; not for a lady who is below 5-foot, right? Same thing applies in every point – weight, looks, academics, etc – MATCHING. Maybe, this is the reason why this game is called MATCHMAKING! LOL!

Best of luck! 

THE AGE FACTOR

Marriage between two persons is all about understanding about each other’s lives, attitudes, behaviors, etc. Once the understanding sets in, there is nothing to stop and the compatibility percentage grows by leaps and bounds. The way they receive a particular scenario regarding the other person changes and amicability spreads everywhere. One of the factors that need focus when it comes to marriage is AGE. The norm across this planet is that the groom should always be older than the bride; by how many years depends up on so many other factors like region, religion, etc.

This blog wants to highlight that this ‘norm’ is changing. Grooms are ready to marry brides, who are older to them. Though this is not a new norm, we can say this is the new trend. One can cite so many examples to support this point; cricket master Tendulkar’s marriage with Anjali, bollywood stars - Aishwarya and Abhishek’s marriage, etc.

In earlier days, marrying a bride who is older to groom is ‘no-no’ thing. Actually, it is treated as a big crime. Even today, there are so many people, who believe in this formula. However, the good news is that the formula is getting modified slowly and the new formula is gathering support from all layers of the society. 

Nevertheless, there is a reason why our forefathers had thought of marrying a younger bride. As per their understanding, girls become mentally matured at a very young age compared with guys. Because of this reason, our forefathers had created the following thumb rule: there should be an age gap of minimum 5 years between the bride (younger) and groom (older).

Nowadays, it seems that the new generation started feeling more self-confident that they are matured enough to handle their seniors. At the same time, the older generation also is giving a chance to the younger generation to experiment with. On the whole, the age factor is slowly fading away inviting new relations.

Best of luck!

THE HOROSCOPE MATCH

Most of the brides and grooms, nowadays, are focusing on their partner’s horoscope to check their mutual compatibility as a couple. Life is full of ups and downs and nobody wants to take chances. They want to know what is in store for them as a couple.

The problem with astrology is that you should know your correct date of birth (DOB), time of birth (TOB), and place of birth (POB). If any of these details are incorrect, there is 100% chance that you get incorrect planet positioning. Based on the planet positioning and other aspects only, the results are told in astrology. Now, most of the times, people don’t have all these three correct details. Then again, instead of checking and rechecking whether their details are correct before matching them with their partner’s details, they simply focus on the compatibility results, which are generated using incorrect parameters/details.

On this planet, we all believe that there is a Super Power and we all call him with different names. Most of us believe that HE is the one who is behind all that is happening to us at any point of time; both positive and negative experiences. As per Hindu scriptures, even a leaf does not move without HIS command. Now whether we know our horoscope details correctly or not, God / Supreme Being has already decided something for us (pre-determination concept). What we are trying to do falls under ‘discovery’ not ‘innovation’ from God’s point of view. In the case of atheists, even this explanation doesn’t work!

This blog suggests that first you should make sure about your horoscope input details before matching them with your ‘would be’ partner’s details. This applies in the case of all these ‘future reading’ sciences (numerology [based on Sun sign], astrology [based on Moon sign], etc). Once you are sure that everything is perfect from your side, then make sure the validity of your ‘would be’ partner details. Only after that, go for compatibility check; it is easy, nowadays, as there are so many free software available online. Also, there are ‘so called’ gyanis in this field, who can guide you and tell you the advantages and benefits of marrying a particular person based on his/her horoscope.

Best of luck!

MANAGE YOUR SOCIAL PROFILE

Nowadays, if you have not created your social profile on any popular social networking site means, there is something wrong with you. The irony of today’s situation is that if you tell something about you, then people comment; if you don’t tell anything about you, then people suspect. The problem with the social networking sites is that they help to make your private life public without even letting you know how it is happening. They encourage you to share all your private details to this world by telling you that by doing so, it increases your online popularity. If you die for popularity, then there is a chance that you will definitely follow their guidelines. But, if you are a victim of popularity, by this time you might know what happens with your shared data, who uses that for what purpose, and how much loss you suffer without even knowing how it happens.

When it comes to marriage, you need to be very careful regarding your social profile. A small sized erotic photo shared publicly by your long-time friend (just for the sake of fun) can ruin your marriage prospects. We all live in a hypocrite society. Everyone commits mistakes but no one accepts them. If they find someone else committed a mistake, then the remaining people become one and target the latter. So, it is always better to keep your social profile clean. The best thing is that to not to have any kind of social profile in your name.

It is not that we make mistakes but as part of prevention measure, this blog suggests no social profile policy. If it is a must, then always make sure that your profile, your circle, the items you share to the public, etc, are cool (acceptable); also make sure to remove all those ambiguous romantic dialogs from your social profile.

Every groom wants to marry an innocent bride and every bride wants to marry a good guy. We all are bad inside but no one accepts it. We all want to live in a make-believe world, where everyone is good and every flower is dedicated only for God’s worship!

Best of luck! 

ARRANGED-CUM-LOVE MARRIAGE

Most of us know that most of the youngsters vote for love marriage. Love marriage is something which they think that gives them some sort of grip on their ‘future life’ and their ‘partner choosing’ as well. Arranged marriage involves lot many people including your elders. Actually, the decision making is done by the elders of both the parties based on both the bride’s and groom’s horoscope, family history, attitude compatibility, etc, details. In this case, since the analysis is done by so many people, the chance of identifying any problem happens in the initial stage itself. If the identified problem falls under the unsolved category, then both the parties back off from the marriage proposal with mutual consent before making any commitment toward each other.

However, arranged marriage brings a few issues also. Since so many parties are involved in this match making, issues like ego satisfaction, party’s attitude, thinking too much about unnecessary info, etc, surface. From outside, for a third-party, it looks like everything hangs in the air until the marriage is done. Compared with this, a love marriage looks like simple and to the point; the number of involved parties is few. Most of the times, it is bride and groom along with a few well-wishers. Once the garlands are exchanged and signatures are jotted down before the marriage registrar in the registrar office, the marriage is over. In this scenario, the decisions are taken by the ‘would be’ couple. However, in arranged marriage, everyone calls the shots except the bride and groom.

However, there is a case which falls neither under love marriage category nor arranged marriage; this is what is called arranged-cum-love marriage. For someone, who is late in his/her 30s and want to get married then, there are so many community matrimonial sites available nowadays. In this age, romance is a far away affair for most of the people. So, arranged marriage is the probable option. However, if no one is there to talk to the bride or groom on behalf of you, then you can engage the matrimonial site people to do that ‘middleman’ job. These middlemen reach the target party and convey your likes, dislikes, preferences, etc and in turn get the other party information also. Since this is business, they charge some amount based on the marriage budget for their services.

In pure arranged marriage, selection of bride and groom is done by the elders first and then they seek the acceptance of all the involved parties. However, in this case, the bride/groom is selecting their respective partner, contact them, chat with them for hours, days, years, etc, and then if they decide that s/he is the one that they can spend rest of their life, then they press the matrimony middlemen into their service to talk with the other party’s family members. So, this is a case of arranged-cum-love marriage, which is the most happening thing nowadays.

MARRYING A PERSON FROM DIFFERENT REGION

Marriage is an auspicious union between two persons. Actually, it is a union of two souls. Nowadays, people have become little bit liberal and are looking beyond their inner circles while selecting their life partner. That is a good factor. While looking for a bride or groom particularly from a region other than your own, it is always better that you know a little bit more about the other person’s culture, tradition, region, food habits, etc. Life’s ways are peculiar; nobody knows in what way it guides us.

In India, there are 28 states and every state has its own tradition and culture. On top of all this, we have different religions, castes, etc. Now, in the recent scenario, where we have so many educated people compared with our earlier times, people are discovering so many new options to find and choose their life partner. With inflation inching up every day and the cost of living going north, all the brides and grooms should know what options are open to them at any point of time to choose a successful partner to lead a beautiful and comfort life.

There are so many tips that are worthful to check when you have decided to marry a person from different region. If you both guys are in love with each other, then automatically you give so many discounts to each other’s lifestyles; however, when you are going to marry someone from different region whom you have met through a channel like matrimonial site, you need to know a little bit more about the opposite party before saying YES to your would be life partner.

Best of luck!

INNER PERSONALITY FACTOR

Physical or mental compatibility is important when it comes to marriage. In olden times, people only used to select the bride or groom based on the family history they are related with. Nowadays, it is not only the family history that they are looking but also so many other compatibility factors like height, weight, look, attitude, commitment, nature of job, salary, etc. Out of all these factors, a person cannot control so many factors like look, family history, etc. However, s/he can change his/her respective attitude (inner/mental personality) if s/he founds that their personality is tilted towards abnormality. 

From mutual compatibility point of view, a bride and groom need inner personality compatibility to a higher extent. Why today there are so many divorce cases getting filed? The answer lies in the inner personality compatibility of both the bride and the groom. If one looks at the marriage only from materialistic attitude, it is bound to fail. For a solid marriage that lasts forever, both the bride and groom should check their inner personality also. Sometimes, physical incompatibility (like height, weight, lean, obese, etc, differences) can be overcome with inner personality compatibility. 

We see in our regular lives that a couple with abnormal physical personalities are so close to each other that even the passersby could feel the warmth of their inner personality proximity to each other. The gentleman may be obese and the lady may be lean; however, their chemistry with each other really rocks. In this case, the only factor that is binding both the people with extreme physical abnormalities is the inner personality factor. 
Life has its own ways of throwing challenges to us at any given point of time. As a couple, if you guys want to survive the ups and downs of life, then better check your inner personality compatibility before you say YES to each other. The understanding that goes between you and your partner is utmost important for your future success as a couple. 

MENTAL WAVELENGTH

Enjoying in life should not be the only aim of your life; how to make your presence on this planet useful to other human beings is also a point to be considered. When it comes to marriage, one might have seen so many specially abled people, who are good at a few rare talents. The person might be a handicap, who cannot even attend even his / her daily needs; however, the same person has the ability to create an art that might fetch millions of dollars in international market. Most of the times, normal people don’t even look at the profile of these specially abled people when it comes to marriage. At the same time, even the handicapped people don’t keep hopes on getting married to the normal people; they are always on the lookout for similar kind of people related to their bandwagon. 

Actually, if marriage is all about selecting able-bodied and -minded people, then it is incorrect. It is about finding a person, who has a mental wavelength that match yours. This particular person might not be healthy or able-bodied or etc; nevertheless, s/he could give those few precious moments in life that you never get or expect from any other able-bodied or –minded person. 

By saying like this, this blog does not recommend or suggest people to check only the mental wavelength of a person when it comes to marriage; you need to check even the physical profile of the target person also. However, the mental wavelength factor plays an important role in selecting your partner. Think about it! 

THINK AGAIN

You are single; ready to mingle. And there are so many eligible bachelors/spinsters out there who share your goal. They are also eager to join with someone to lead a life of their own. However, nothing is happening. Normally, they say that people who share the same objectives win anything that they aim for; however, it seems that is not the case in getting married. Everyone wants to get married to an eligible partner but no one finds anyone eligible. LOL!

Cool yourself and just think about what is happening in your life. Life is short and you want to get best out of it. Nevertheless, that is everyone’s dream. But don’t you think that you are dragging your dream too much! Anyways, everyone has their own set of ideals and goals. But the goal is to get married ASAP, right? If your dream is not fitting into your lifestyle, why not you rearrange it so that it fits your way? For example, if you are looking for someone who is from a good family, sound financial background, etc, then forget about it at this age (30+). YOU NEED TO GIVE SOME DISCOUNT TO GET A LITTLE BIT MORE ADVANTAGE POISTION HERE! Think about a partner, who is fair and shares your dreams but don’t have all the things set at this point in his/her life; however, have potential to achieve them in the nearby future. 

Life is all about adjustments, dear! By this time, you might have understood this elegant fact. 

Best of luck!

STILL SINGLE?

YES! Don’t worry! This is the ‘new normal’ nowadays. Whatever may be the reason (job-oriented, carrier-focused, unresolved legacy issues, unable to find right partner, etc), life always has something to give us in the form of a tension, these days.  Yes, tensions; reason for our stress-filled lives and unachieved wishes. 

One has to give so many discounts to move to the next level in life. And, unfortunately, marriage is also one among them.  After achieving whatever we dreamt in life, we realize that we have crossed our early 30s (highly competitive world!) and the person whom we want to be in our life had already got married to someone else.  Gosh! Now, we need to digest our loss and have to carry out a new search afresh; to find that mermaid/handsome in this high-population dense world. 

As long as both the genders are not earning anything and they don’t have any achievements in life, there is a lot of chance that they share most of the ideas and aspirations. Now, when a couple starts experiencing new things in life, their outlook about life changes to such an extent that the same loving couple in their 20s feel incompatible to each other in their late 30s. 

However, there is an upside to this new situation we are in. By the time a person cross his 30s, at least s/he might be leading a comfortable lifestyle. All those partner preferences of his/her 20s get changed now. The outlook about this world and his/her own life changes also drastically. Now, with this new perspective, s/he gets a chance to find his/her life partner. 

Please remember that the days of women playing the role of a housewife has gone. Nowadays, due to high cost of living, financial pressures are mounting. To deal with the unexpected spending spikes, both the partners have to do job. This situation is completely different from what we have seen as kids; most of the mothers are house-wives THEN.  In those days, if at all there is a change in the status (divorce/separated/etc) of the family, it is from that partner, who is going out and earning livelihood for the whole family.  However, now, since both the partners are going out and experiencing new things, their preferences and ambitions change.  If the couple doesn’t know how to deal with their new experiences, suddenly they become victim of their new found lifestyle and the most loving family on this planet files for divorce!

What is the reason for this NEW change in our lives? life’s new experiences, soul’s unquenched thirst to experience new things, and guts to face new challenges to fulfill our ambitious life. After marriage, as long as, a person is selfish and thinks only about himself/herself, life is bound to ruin. The moment s/he considers her partner’s preferences in doing anything in life, it is bound to flourish. Sharing, caring, and delegating are must in this new world. 

This blog does not say that both the partners bounded by marriage cannot do jobs as it becomes anathema for their marriage survival. It simply tries to explain what are all the factors that are influencing our lives at the moment and how we can deal with them either to stay happily married or to get newly married with the person whom s/he likes most to lead a happily married life. 

Best of luck!